It is very sad to know that at times we only say such words of endearment to our parents because we need something from them or so that they will give us something that please us .
Let me share a story that once became famous among the Khairul Qurun because it is a story about one of the most diligent and pious sahabi that lived during the time of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w .
Indeed , in this story we will find some realization on how we are doing with our parents .
It is the story of AlQamah and his mother , some of you might have heard this before but the effect it leaves continue to linger in our hearts .
There was a young man called Alqamah . He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in salat , fasting and spending in charity . This man fell ill and when his illness became serious , his wife sent a message to Muhammad s.a.w telling : ”My husband Alqamah is dying and I wanted to inform you about his condition.”
Muhammad s.a.w sent Ammar r.a , Suhaib r.a and Bilal r.a saying : “Go to him and let him say and repeat the shahadah (I testify that there is no deity but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”
They went to him , entered his house and found him in the agony of death . They asked him to repeat (La ilaaha illallah) , but his tongue was unable to utter the words . So , they sent someone telling Muhammad s.a.w that he was unable to repeat the shahadah .
Muhammad s.a.w asked ; Is either of his parents alive ? He was told that his mother still alive , but she was very old at that point of time . Muhammad s.a.w sent her a message asking her to come to him if she was able to , or otherwise she should stay at home until Muhammad s.a.w comes to her. A messenger told her Muhammad’s message .
She said : “ May my life be a ransom for him ; It is me who ought to go to him.” She then stood up leaning on her walking stick , and came to Muhammad s.a.w , and greeted him .
Muhammad s.a.w returned the greeting and said to her : “Umm Alqamah , tell me the truth , for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me ! How was the situation of your son Alqamah ?” She replied : ”Messenger of Allah s.a.w , he prays much , fasts great deal and spends a great amount in charity.” Muhammad s.a.w asked ; “What about yourself ?” She said : ”Messenger of Allah s.a.w , I am angry with him.” Muhammad s.a.w asked ; “Why ?” She replied : “He has preferred his wife to me and disobeyed me.”
Muhammad s.a.w said : ”Umm Alqamah , surely your anger has prevented Alqamah’s tongue from uttering the shahadah” . He then turned to Bilal r.a and asked him to go out and collect a quantity of firewood .
She asked ; ”Messenger of Allah , what are you planning to do ?” Muhammad s.a.w replied : “I will burn him in front of your eyes” . She said : “ Messenger of Allah s.a.w , he is my son . My heart can not bear seeing you do that!”
Muhammad s.a.w said : “Umm Alqamah , Allah’s torment is severe and more lasting ! Therefore , if you want Allah to forgive him , be contented with him . I swear by Allah in whose Hand my soul is , Alqamah’s praying , fasting and spending in charity , are all of no benefit to him if you are angry with him.”
Thereupon she said : “Messenger of Allah , I call upon Allah Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be witnesses what I am contented with my son Alqamah.”
After Muhammad s.a.w ordered Bilal r.a to check on Alqamah and see if he is now able to say the shahadah . It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something (for his sake) which is not in her heart . As soon as Bilal reached the door of Alqamah’s house , he heard him saying the shahadah . He entered the house and remarked : “ It is true that the anger of Alqamah’s mother prevented his tongue from uttering the shahadah , while her pleasure set it free.”
Alqamah died the same day . After his funeral , Muhammad saw stood by his grave and said ;
“Listen you , company of immigrants (Muhajireen) and Helpers (Ansar) , if anyone favours his wife over his mother , Allah and His angels and all mankind will curse him ! Allah does not accept his beneficence and his uprightness unless he repents towards Allah , the Glorious , the Majestic and reconciles with his mother and attain her pleasure , for Allah’s pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah’s anger consists in her anger.”
My brothers and sisters , this is the glimpse of the worth , right and status of our mothers over us .
Indeed , no matter how we would be so well in our ibadah but as long as our relationships are not well with our parents then righteousness is never attained .
My brothers , never forsake your mothers for your wives . Realize that you can have another wife but you can never have another mother .
My sisters , do be a reason that your husband will have disputes with his mother , if she is stern with you then show patience and tolerance because a mother would only want the best for her son , and if you show definite patience and tolerance indeed the heart of a mother would be softened and eventually will give in and accept you . InsyaaAllah .
By Allah , we don’t even realize that we have been so busy on asking prayers from random people when at home there’s someone whose prayer is always answered , Oh Allah , have mercy on our parents .